Going through a divorce is a source of emotional and financial stress that can drag on for months or even years. While many people file for divorce on their own without any problems, other couples need legal support. However, not every situation warrants litigation. For some, mediation is a good alternative.
With that said, mediation isn’t for everyone. It tends to fail in situations involving intense conflict, custody disputes, large estates, addiction, distrust, and abuse. In contrast, it can be highly effective for simple, amicable divorces where both parties are willing to communicate and compromise.
The right path for you depends on the complexity of your situation, so before you commit to anything, here are some points to consider.
Large estates usually require legal expertise and court enforcement
If you have a multi-million-dollar estate, trusts, and a lot of shared property, you’ll likely need to contact an attorney for help. Trying to split assets worth millions of dollars on your own is going to be difficult. And if your former partner doesn’t want to fulfill their end of the agreement, you won’t have a court order to pursue it.
Property division isn’t as easy as it looks, but when you hire a divorce lawyer, you’ll have a better chance at a fair split. For example, in Texas, community property must be divided fairly and justly between you and your spouse. However, that doesn’t always end up being a 50/50 split. Property division takes all circumstances into account, including current income and earning potential. Someone with less income and less earning potential is likely to receive a larger share of the divided property. Yes, even if the estate is worth millions.
Intense custody disputes require a lawyer
Mediation might work for a lot of people, but it won’t help you with a custody battle. If you’re already fighting over child custody, you need a lawyer. Custody laws are complex and a lawyer will know how to frame your case with the precise evidence and arguments a judge wants to hear. Your case will be properly framed in a legal context, not based on emotional appeals and personal stories.
If you try to handle a custody dispute on your own, there’s a good chance you’ll lose. Your former partner will probably have an attorney, and if you show up to court without a lawyer, the other attorney will push for a custody plan that favors your ex.
Consider the cost
There’s a significant difference between the cost of mediation and litigation. A divorce attorney’s fees can be higher than mediation, but don’t make your choice based on cost alone. Although saving money is nice, mediation is only suited for people who don’t have complex situations.
Consider how much control you’ll have
When you go through a mediator, you and your ex steer the outcomes. However, in court, you’re at the judge’s mercy. That can be beneficial for some people. For example, if you’re a victim of domestic violence, there’s a good chance the judge will favor you more to the extent that is legally allowable.
Do you want to talk with your ex?
If you file for divorce through a lawyer, you won’t have to speak to your ex. However, the legal process can intensify conflict and distrust. Still, if there’s already tension between you and your ex, it might be less stressful to hand everything over to a divorce lawyer.
On the other hand, when you go through mediation, you’ll be encouraged to have collaborative dialogue with your ex. This can be productive and even healing for some people.
Do you want your situation to be public?
Mediation sessions are confidential, but court proceedings become public records. If you’re well-known or you just want to maintain privacy, then litigation is the better option.
Talk to a lawyer first
Should you choose mediation or litigation? If you’re not sure how to proceed with your divorce, talk to a lawyer first to get an accurate assessment of your situation. Mediation is fast, private, and less expensive, but it only works when both parties are generally on the same page. Litigation is easier when the stakes are high, despite the higher costs.
For the best outcome, make your decision based on both the complexity of your divorce and your emotional bandwidth. And if you don’t feel like either option is ideal, you might be able to blend mediation with legal support. However, when there’s a lot at stake, don’t go into your divorce unprepared. You’ll get the best outcome when you show up with a lawyer.
