Did you know that before 1858 in England, getting a divorce required an act of parliament? You had to know a member of parliament or a peer who could bring a private member’s bill forward and persuade parliament of why you should be allowed to separate.
In the U.S. it was easier than this but you still had to be in the middle or upper classes as they were quite expensive.
Today divorce is thankfully a lot easier and also much more common. To avoid the situation of losing their property or assets an increasing number of people chose the prenup option but how to ask for a prenup without offending the other party?
This is how to discuss prenuptial agreement.
Couples who are getting married should respect each other’s values and beliefs. It would be unusual for couples to discuss a prenup for the first time after the engagement took place.
If this conversation takes place only after you have exchanged engagement rings you have to ask yourself if now is the right time to get married.
Some parents discuss prenups with the children even before they start college.
When the conversation does take place it should be just that a conversation, a discussion. Remain civil at all times and try to listen to the other’s concerns. This is an issue you have to work out between you.
Even if you have red lines in your mind do not impose on your partner and suggest that you are not prepared to compromise. Listen to what your partner has to say and go away and consider it carefully.
While you do have to be polite don’t shy away from speaking your mind about what you want. You have to be clear and not simply agree with what your partner is saying all of the time as this can lead to tensions further down the road.
Sometimes your partner is going to want to vent and that is ok. There is a difference between allowing your partner to speak and listening to their opinion and agreeing with them. You can disagree with them without closing them down.
Pick Your Moments
Don’t decide to have a discussion about the prenup during an argument or at a time when you know your partner is stressed or angry. This will not end well.
Instead, be sure to pick your moments to discuss the prenup carefully. Make sure she is relaxed and does not feel intimidated.
The Prenup: Be Honest and Upfront but Respectful
When considering how to ask for the prenup be sure to consider your partner’s needs. Listen to what they have to say even if you don’t agree with them and be as respectful as you can.
Don’t talk about the prenup in a heated argument or in a flash of anger. Choose the moments when you will discuss it carefully when both of you have had plenty of rest. This is how to ask for a prenup.